Introduction, Vulnerability, “It’s Not Weird”

My first blog post! 

I have a long awaited making my first blog post on my website. I wanted to write the perfect thing to represent the most beautiful corners of my mind. I listen to podcasts where the women speak in sonnets, and write as if they are composers of a language that I could never live up to. (mythicmedicine.love/podcast-new) But after watching four episodes of Sex And The City, I’ve come to a couple conclusions- One: I hate that show. It made me feel insecure and gross about my body and about being an aging woman in the world (and I say this as a 26-year-old woman, not exactly what most consider “aging”).

And two: I can just write whatever bullshit I want while smoking a cigarette and it’s still a blog post.

So, no cigs inside here, but bull shit? Hell yes. 

I had my 14-year-old sibling visit me for four days this week. Here I am pictured washing my laundry in my countertop crank washing machine, wearing a facemask that I made for us consisting of bentonite clay, pumpkin, honey, apple cider vinegar, and ocean water that I collected during the Aquarius Super Full Moon. 

a photo of me after collecting Full Super Moon in Aquarius ocean water

Our time spent together felt somewhat stoic. My sibling is very quiet, unless you ask the right questions. Which at this point in their life seems to be in the realm of love interests and what they like to do with their friends. 

It’s strange, I feel as though 2019 I had a resurrection, and now I am probably about 5 years old. What I like to talk about is what kind of superpower you’d have, what kind of planet would you make, what shape is your favorite color? How do different colors makes you feel? But most of those questions just got answered with a unenthusiastic “I don’t know” from my sib.

And that is totally OK.

How humble it is to not know. 

Perhaps they would be fine with whatever superpower bestowed upon them on their magical planet of unfathomable shapes and hues.

Our time together was mostly spent at the dining room table, painting in silence- using colors to create an image of our minds rather than talking about them.

It was as if the table of watercolors had its own gravitational pull.

It was a great practice for me, as a true yapper, to settle into silence while around another human being. There is a distinct level of contentment one must have with themselves when socializing with someone who doesn’t communicate verbally. 

Of course I have the panicked thoughts in the quiet car rides: “Are they mad at me?”, “Are they having a good time?”, “Is this the most annoying and boring way to spend time with their big sister?”

When I suggested we do a face masque, their response was again, an unenthusiastic “Sure…” with a slight eye roll. 

I thought to myself:

“This is the best I can come up with?” 

And then while standing in the kitchen, my mortar and pestle in hand, grinding the pumpkin for the masque, they ask me:

“What’s in it?”

A simple and endearing expression of interest in what I'm doing.

“What do all your tinctures do? How do you make them?” and suddenly I realize I am projecting a narrative that doesn’t exist outside of my own mind into our shared reality.

July 15, 2023. The first time I wore my moon blood. 

I also introduced them to body literacy via fertility awareness method, basically against their will.

But by Golly 14-year-old me needed to know this!! So I know they need to know too. I know that schools will never teach this stuff. Not even our Mom will talk about this stuff.

The power body literacy holds to create true autonomy in an age of gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia is unfathomable and infinite. 

I know they’re not going to run home, smiling ear to ear, checking their cervical fluid with the same joy and passion as me; but someone needed to start the conversation without it being weird!!

God, why do we think discharge is weird? 

I hate that society has deemed it weird.

I wish I could turn back time and start talking about discharge 10 years ago! 

But I can’t.

I remember asking my mom about discharge when I was 14. She couldn't look me in the eyes, and I’m not kidding you, literally gagged before saying “discharge is normal”.

Very convincing. 

So, I told them now. And they hated it. But! I’ve planted the seed of vaginal mucous normalcy. And I will meditate on sprouting that seed; with the intrinsically connected watery webs of the cosmos that connect our minds every day. 

Their health depends on it. Their relationship to their bleed depends on it. The little souls in their ovaries depend on that seed creating a lineage of ancestors who didn’t think their body being a body was weird or something to resent.

So have the hard conversations! It’s fun to create spaces of discomfort and then navigate together to mutual understanding, or at least acceptance of different perspectives. 

Anyways not sure how to end a blog post. Thank you for reading! 

*No AI was used in creating this blog post*